I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
I'm having to shit out rocks
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
