I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
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