doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
