I'll bet she douches with gravy.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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