i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
