my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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