every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
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