Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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