Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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