Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
