Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
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