You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize
