the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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