i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Randomize
