Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Randomize
