he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
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