Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
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