I can't breathe out the right side of my face
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
ugly people sure do ruin things
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
