ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
soo... how was my night?
Randomize
