I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
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