I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
