she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
