i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
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