I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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