I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
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Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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