after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
