It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
