so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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