there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
do herpes really smell.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
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