he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
i now understand why vodka
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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