well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
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