STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Randomize
