Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
How external is "for external use only"?
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
