I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
I can text with my tongue
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
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