I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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