seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Randomize
