why didn't you poke me back
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Randomize
