I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
