She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize
