he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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