I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Randomize
