white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
