So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Randomize
