There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Randomize
