i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
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