Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Randomize
