I could have mohawked her pubes.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
