Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
Randomize
