walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Floor bacon is actually really good
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
