there's paper in my vomit.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
her facebook's as public as her vagina
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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