Apparently you make a good broom.
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
Randomize
