i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
Randomize
