that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
Randomize
