She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Randomize
