fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
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