You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Randomize
