who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Randomize
