Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
